I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
