How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
These tits shall not be calmed
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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