he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
