I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
