I don't remember. Are we still dating?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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