I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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