I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
