Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
