I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
