morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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