community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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