Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize