So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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