And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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