Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
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