I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize