All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
