Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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