just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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