i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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