i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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