i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
