Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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