porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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