Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
FUCK WHALES
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
