so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
