So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
