The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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