Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
