You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
