I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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