operation harelip BJ is a go
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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