Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
