a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
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