I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
If I die, sorry about rent.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
