I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize