we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize