i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We need to rekindle our bromance
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
