by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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