First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
