We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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