please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
