Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
