i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
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