Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I looked at my own cervix.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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