come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Success! We fucked roommates!
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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