we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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