I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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