It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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