my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Floor bacon is actually really good
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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