it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
