So drunk its hurt
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she peed on how many people?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
