he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize