My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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