what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
