she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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