So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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